What I want to do before I die.
I can’t stop thinking about all of the things I should have done before I died. I never, ever wanted to have regrets in life, but I do. I always wanted to live my life for today and I rarely did. If I am dying of cancer, I have a lot of things to get done.
I want to travel. I really want to see Ireland and Italy, most of Europe, really. I want to see the Grand Canyon. I wish I could go on a cruise. I would love to go backpacking in remote parts of the world (on the little hills, not mountains). I really hate that I’ve never had a passport and I don’t have the money to see these places. I keep crying about this.
I want more kids. I’m so pissed this is happening right now. I had just decided we should start trying for another baby within the month. I just know that I have cancer and it’s going to be years before I can get pregnant and I’ll probably be too old. Or I’ll die and leave Troy alone with Colleen. It is not fair. Life is really, really, really unfair.
I have wasted so much time in this life and I’m pissed at myself for doing it. I’ve wasted so many years doing dumb things. I wish I had that time back.
I do not want to have cancer.