Not a bad day

I can’t say I feel normal, but today was better than yesterday. I slept really late. It was 11:30 by my clock, but it was really 12:30 since the time changed in Indiana for the first time in 30 years!!!

Troy invited Amy, Deb and Emily to come over. They stayed a long time and we just talked and talked. We talked about me and my problems a little, but then we just talked about everything under the sun. The distraction is excellent.

Troy also twisted my arm and got me working on this blog. I started working on it on Friday and as of this post, it is up to date. It’s been good therapy for me. He knows me better than I know myself. Writing about what is going on helps me work through things and clear my mind on what decisions I have to make.

Judy, my next-door-neighbor from when I was a kid, called me tonight to talk about her breast cancer experiences. It sounds like she had the same type of cancer I have — all through the breast and not visible on a mammogram. Hers was found by accident. She went in to have some sort of test for a nodule on her lung (which turned out to be nothing). They injected some solution with glucose in it and they noticed on the PET scan that the glucose was drawn to her breast. Upon further testing, they discovered it had cancer. She had a mastectomy and reconstruction during the mastectomy (this is probably not an option for me because of the treatment I will have to have).

It was good to hear details about reconstruction. I was really glad to hear she has feeling in her breast. That’s one of my issues with a mastectomy. I was worried you just had an unfeeling sack hanging on your body. But she says she has a lot of sensation there, although there is a numb spot.

Judy, who is my mom’s age, also empathized with my child-bearing issues as they could not have children. She has an adopted daughter my age. I started crying with her about this, but it was good to hear from someone who has been there.

She told me when she looks back at the surgery, it wasn’t a big deal. She said she doesn’t look back on it as some horrible thing; that it all turned out pretty well. I hope I can say this in a few years. I sure know this time right now is hell.

Tomorrow, I’m going to try to go back to work. I have to talk to HR about my status and what sort of leave I can get. I have several doctor’s appointments this week and next. And I’ll either be having a re-excision next week or a mastectomy within the month. So … more days off are in my future.

Author: rosie

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