If you hate puke, this post isn’t for you.

I’ve been since awake since 3 a.m. It’s all part of my world domination plan. I read yesterday that Rachel Ray only gets 4-5 hours of sleep. In years past, I’ve read the same thing said by Oprah and Martha Stewart. So, probably the three most famous women in the U.S. right now only get 4 hours of sleep. I want to be famous.

Actually, Colleen was up barfing at 3 a.m. In an interesting chain of events, at bedtime last night, Troy asked if he could take an Ambien. We try not to both take them on the same night “in case something happens.” So, I said, sure, I’ll take Ativan, which is an anti-anxiety drug and doesn’t have quite the same “knock you on your ass for 8 hours” effect of Ambien. It just makes me not worry, so I can fall asleep, but I’m allowed to operate heavy machinery when I have Ativan in my system. (If you have a backhoe or anything you want me to drive, let me know.)

So, at 3 a.m., my husband pokes me and says extremely calmly, “Colleen just threw up in my hand.” I thought he was talking in his sleep. He says bizarre things like this in his sleep. It used to really freak me out because he sounds so coherent, but then I learned to identify his “asleep” voice. So, I said, “It’s ok, honey, go back to sleep,” which is what I always say. He said, “Ok. Can you get it out of my hand?” Still, really calm and in his eerie “I’m asleep and don’t know it” voice. That got my attention, so I set up in bed and squished a kid who was smooshed in-between us.

Thus ensued ½ hour of cleaning up my bed, the kid and Troy’s hand, with the lights on and the kid alternately moaning and crying, all with Troy sound asleep. I’m not criticizing him. He was on Ambien. You can stand on my head for 8 hours after I take Ambien and I would never know.

After cleaning my bed, Colleen then went back to bed and promptly threw up in her bed. I was at the ready with a clean set of Dora sheets.

I’m scared to go in there this morning. It may look like the Exorcist in her room.

Oh, and all of this was after Colleen kept me awake until 11:30 because she couldn’t sleep. Then, I believe she fell out of bed like an hour later. I heard a lot of very sad crying, but she sounded like she had it under control, so I left her alone and fell back asleep. (I mean, if you can’t figure out how NOT to fall out of bed when you are 5, then when are you going to learn?) Then, the whole puking in every bed in the house incident.

After that, I was awake for the night. I actually designed a whole web site this morning, put gas in Troy’s car, went to Starbuck’s, and filled up the dishwasher twice. I really do think there may be something to this four hours of sleep thing.

Author: rosie

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