Apparently, I want to be Marylou when I grow up!

I’m listening to iTunes on the computer. The song below came up. It’s from the “liberated” portion of my music collection, if you know what I mean. Something I’ve never heard before.

So, I’m crying before I realize I’m even listening to the song. Strange how music can do that. The stupid lyrics were definitely striking a chord deep within me today.

One line toward the end particularly rings true: “You say, ‘My life just got so beautiful the day I turned it loose.'”

I’m reading a book right now called, “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times.” It’s written by a Tibetan Buddhist and it’s about how to accept that life is groundless. The only way to face fear and anxiety is to truly accept that everything beneath you can be gone in an instant – the rug gets pulled out and you are flat on your ass. Although I’ve experienced this feeling over and over again (who hasn’t?), I’ve never accepted it as being a regular part of life. Challenges are something to “overcome,” not accept. Only in the last few months have I even considered it as a possibility! It took months and months of therapy for me to realize that “shit happens.” Forrest Gump only had to go jogging to figure that out. Apparently, I’m a slower learner than Forrest Gump.

The song is by a female folk artist, Kris Delmhorst, and is called Marylou. I didn’t bother copyediting the lyrics after copying them from a site. Don’t judge me!

(P.S. For anyone expecting my “gratitude” list, it’s coming. It’s just that since the day I said I would do that, the rug has been yanked out from beneath me at least twice. It’s hard to be grateful when you are busy facing hurt and fear!)

A little girl walked out one day and said woe is me
Things just aren’t the way I thought they’d be
So please don’t make me turn 30, don’t make me turn 16
If the rest of life is anything like what I’ve seen

Cause I know that I’m a goner and I know it won’t be long
Cause I see on every billboard they tell me I’m all wrong
They say you’re taking too much time girl, you take up too much space
You better stake yourself a claim before you lose that face

But I see you and you’re different and to me you look so free,
You live your life the way you think it ought to be
And your body’s not a prison or a weapon or a curse
You say “I’m gonna love each passing year for better or worse” for good or worse

When I grow up I want to be like you, marylou
When I grow up I want to be like you
I want to be a wise woman and a little girl too
When I grow up I want to be like marylou

The little girl said they tell me, “boys will be boys,
You gotta let them take the wheel and let them make the noise,
You gotta let them keep believing you’re underneath their thumb
Cause they won’t cause you so much trouble if you learn to play dumb.”

But I see you and you’re smiling, living on your own
Your paintbrush and your poems and you’ll never be alone
You’ve got work to sustain you, you’ve got friends to hold your hands
You say “life is just as beautiful as I think I can stand”

When I grow up I want to be like you, marylou
When I grow up I want to be like you
I want to do the things that people just don’t do
When I grow up I want to be like marylou

A little girl said well tell me, can this be,
Can the world be asking so much of me?
To give up my own body, my dreams and my name,
To give my hands to carrying the whole world’s shame?

But you’re not your father’s keeper, you’re not your mother’s pain,
You’re not your brother’s anger or your sister’s rain,
You’re not your lover’s chew toy and you’re not the world’s excuse,
You say “my life just got so beautiful the day I turned it loose”

When I grow up I want to be like you, marylou
When I grow up I want to be like you
I want to be a wise wise woman, want to be a little girl too
When I grow up I want to be like marylou

Author: rosie

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2 Comments

  1. That is an awesome song. I’ll have to hunt it down.

    So I could really make a “run Forrest run…” comment, but I would never do that to you, now would i? (how do people type those stupid angels with halo’s over their heads… thats what i need right now.)

    Hugs to you, it can only get better darlin. Tell that stinkin rug that you’re going to stomp it flat if it tries to yank out from under you again ;>

    Jen D

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