It’s just a couple of cans of paint …
In order to commemorate my interview with CR magazine and my future blog stardom, I promptly stopped posting.
I know. It sounds like a wildly unorthodox public relations plan. Bear with me. At my day job, I’m a self-proclaimed marketing genius.
There are good reasons. The evening of my last post, I began what shall come to be known as the “Samantha is coming to town let’s paint the living room” makeover of 2009.
A lot of things were supposed to happen. It was supposed to take one weekend. The accent wall was supposed to be darker than it is. There was supposed to be crown molding added. We were supposed to have a “finishing touches” montage just like on home decorating shows where it would take approximately 90 seconds to put all of the accessories in place. Just a few odds and ends, like: curtains, end tables, lamps, mirrors, clocks, artwork (created by hand, of course), fancily-arranged bookshelves, a bowl of green apples and a few (wink wink) haphazardly-placed books on the side tables that make me look smart and artsy. (Books with titles like “Needlework of the Victorian Era” and “Politics and Art: a study of Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera and Other Popular Mexican Political Artists of the Early 20th Century.”)
So, it has taken a bit longer than we had anticipated. In fact, for the first 10 days, it was a non-stop frenzy of activity. Instead of doing trivial things like eating and sleeping, I was taping and painting. Instead of enjoying his summer break, Andy was doing everything else.
I was a little sad when Ty Pennington didn’t show up to fix the molding, but Andy did a fantastic job! The bar had been set fairly low – the entire time I’ve lived here, only half of the living room had baseboards.
We made incredible progress. In the previous 8 years that I lived here, the only thing that had been applied to the walls of my living room was all-purpose cleaner. No paint. No pictures. The ugly 1970s yellowing curtains that I inherited with the house still hung over the window.
So, in a few short weeks, we surpassed that time line! And some of it was done by the time Samantha arrived. I did have to put her to work moving boxes.
Currently, though, there is not a single room in my house that is usable. Because after we got the living room 85 percent finished, we started on the bedroom. Items from my bedroom (like the bed) fill the dining room because, naturally, boxes of items from the living room are cluttering every available inch of space in my office. The living room looks like all of the closets barfed into it. I can’t find the countertops in my bathroom or my kitchen. At breakfast, I shove aside crap on the table so Colleen can have 8 inches of space on which to eat her Cheerios.
And because that just isn’t enough, on the next episode of “Extreme Makeover Gone BAD!” we are going to tear into the kid’s room.
(As I am writing this, I just heard a loud slam followed by painful man-screams. I ran into the other room to find part of the very heavy new bed frame had fallen and smashed Andy’s toes. That’s really sad. He is just going to have to tape Popsicle sticks to the broken ones and get back to work. I’m tired of sleeping in the dining room.)
Once the bowl of apples has been placed, I will provide before and after photos. Until then, you must wait for the big reveal!
This video makes me want to cut my hair off
My beautiful and well-spoken friend Becca has made a video on a plastic surgery channel.
Apparently, they have plastic surgery channels in Texas. This surprises me. I would have considered that more of a southern California-type of a channel. The “Gigantic Hair and Sparkly Clothes Channel” in Texas would not have surprised me. But, no, she was in Texas.
Anyhow, to the real point of this. Becca looks so awesome in her sassy black hair on this show, it makes me want to cut mine back to that length.
Oh, yeah, and she is talking about breast reconstruction following breast cancer. I mean, like, for people who are interested in THAT.
Isn’t her hair awesome?
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