Upper commando doesn’t always suck or “a post for Marsi”

Part of me wants to delete the “Bras are for people with breasts” post and never speak of it again.

However, I’ve never deleted a post I’ve made yet after almost four years of blogging and I think there is a principle in there somewhere I haven’t quite put into words. (And to let you know how my week is going, I just typed “putten words to.” My head hurts.)

So, understand that while I’m writing about this, I really am not interested in rehashing the stupid bra color thing.

However, someone posted a comment on my post and she said, “I am facing mastectomy this Spring and just started ‘getting wind’ of the fact that I might not be able to wear a bra after recon. This being said, I am deeply touched by this entry(though, I have to admit, it does scare me a little). I am glad we all have such a wonderful friend in you to share feelings about these moments!”

Marsi, here’s what I didn’t say in that post.

There are things I miss about my breasts and there are things I do not. I definitely miss the feeling in a big way, but I’ve found ways to make up for it and it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I miss knowing that I could use them to breastfeed, but, and there’s a big but here, it’s not likely that I will have more children to breastfeed, so that one is moot. (Someone just needs to tell my brain.) And I miss the fact that I had a nice rack that could be supported be pretty undergarments.

Here’s what I don’t miss:

  • I do not miss that my breasts wanted to kill me.
  • I do not miss the worry that they were going to try to kill me again soon.
  • I am not going to miss the lifetime of worry that I KNEW they were going to try to kill me again before I reached age 80.
  • I do not miss being lopsided from my initial surgeries.
  • I do not miss wearing everyday bras at all.

I no longer HAVE to wear a bra, which has it’s benefits. It’s cheaper for one thing. It’s one less item of clothing to worry about. I never have bra straps showing any more.

Nope, it’s not my ideal solution to the bra dilemma. I mean, if I could choose between having my breasts and not, I would have them, as long as they weren’t out to kill me.

I also want to tell you that the closer you are to a 32/34 B/C, the more options you will have in bras in general. More choices means your odds of finding some beautiful ones that work for the shape of your new breasts get better. And even if you can’t find one, there are lots of cute tank tops out there.

Hang in there, Marsi. Do what you need to do — what seems right to you after you do all of your research and after pestering all of your doctors with millions of questions. This isn’t going to be nearly as bad as you think it is right now. I can’t promise it won’t suck, but it isn’t going to be as bad as you imagine.

Author: rosie

Share This Post On


  1. Love you post. Your point that “your breasts wanted to kill you” really resonates with me. I think your statement and the fact that my friend pointed out that I am not yet 40 – after my friend turned 40 her breasts dropped practically to her knees! These both help me a lot. I hate to sound so vain…in the end, I know that having or not having breasts is the least of my worries…… alleviating the cancer is most important.

    I hope you would never delete a post. I love the honesty in your posts – it makes them so much more meaningful. I write in the same fashion – I think it is important.

    Thank you so much! Like Pittgirl, you are a rockstar!!!

    Post a Reply
  2. Marsi, I mean it. I used to think about the nefarious plot my leftover breast was planning against me every day. I know the risk is not gone 100%, but I’m a lot closer now. I have more peace of mind now.

    I don’t know if I’m a rock star like PittGirl, but when I get on a karaoke stage, I am definitely somewhere in the neighborhood of Gwen Stefani.

    Post a Reply

Talk to me! I'm lonely.

%d bloggers like this: