When someone has done something terribly wrong to me, I do not feel like being kind. I will be angry or self-destructive instead.
But eventually, you have to reach for kindness.
Certain religions, philosophies or therapies say you need to forgive the person who caused you pain, so you can let go.
I say to heck with that.
Sometimes the person doesn’t deserve forgiveness or isn’t around to deal with the aftermath. (Of course, many years of therapy has taught me that usually the person you most need to forgive is yourself.)
I have discovered the best way to deal with these situations is to heap love from your forgiving heart on other people. Perform random acts of kindness. Make muffins for you neighbors. Plant flowers for you mom. Tell a friend how much you love her. Just do anything to assure yourself that you are kind and the world can and will be good to you, too.